Out of context.

English is hard.  And thanks to the "that's what she said" phenomena, attention has duly been drawn to the ambiguities of the language that leave certain things...up in the air.  Guided by a mind generally half in the gutter, and a charge from CGB to take advantage of any TWSS moment, I have admittedly been on the forefront of this sometimes-irritating but always hilarious trend.  But being myself, I usually tend to be the offender who needs to be slapped with a "that's what SHE said."  I'm starting to think that I should hire a midget to follow me around to call me out on this shit - but since I lack the funds, I suppose I'll be forced settle for CGB's lunchtime comments for the time being.

Now, you may think to yourself, "Come on, D, it can't be that bad."  Oh really? You think so?

WRONG.  It can.  Because I blurt out gems like this without thinking:

"I only took it where you wanted it to go!"

"Are you racing to who swallows it all or just to who can shove it all in their mouth first? "

(on Gchat) "Sorry, man, I peaked* in your drawer while you were sleeping."

"Mm, thick bananas."

"You're eating Tim's bits!"

Because I'm awesome like that.  God forbid I ever post you more CGB/ME art - My end of the drawing spectrum looks like a mentally handicapped elephant tried to drawn a cloud humping a seahorse.  Which just means that a lot of the little doodles I do unintentionally look a) like crotchel parts, b)like sexual positions, or c) just plain awful.  Take, for instance, the time I was trying to decide whether to nap after work or do Pilates.  In discussing my options with CGB via notes, I decided it would be a good idea to try to illustrate my workout in stick figures.  Yea.  Shoulder bridge and the other exercises don't exactly translate well into stick figures.  Just sayin'.  Also, don't ever let anyone see you doing the Swan.  It just looks like you're humping the floor.

I'll pass along more TWSS gold when I spit it out later.  You know you love it (despite yourself).

 
*Yes, I underlined the key word there in case you're a little on the slow side today.